so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the day after is always just damage control
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
