How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
