420 ftw
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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