with your own penis?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
