Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
