Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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