Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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