I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My bed smells like the plague
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
