If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
