If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
