I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
