my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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