PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
