you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
