I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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