ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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