who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This is classic penis vs brain.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Holy sore nipples Batman
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
