Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
