ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
