what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just cropdusted the office
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
