Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
