Don't you send me to vm
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
