:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
