so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
