Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
