I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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