Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
