Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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