is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
