Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
