dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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