The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
