I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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