Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
