If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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