Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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