I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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