I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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