All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
