This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
