Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
