Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize