LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
