I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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