Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
