we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
