This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
