Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
