It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
