I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
