i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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