it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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