Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
